Tek, A. et al

They’re after me. 

Listen. Maybe I thought that it was weird that they reached out to me, but this paper got desk-rejected from four different journals, and I needed a publication. I was desperate. I ignored the bad grammar, and misspelled words in the ‘solacitations 4 pablications’. I paid the open access fee and I thought that was the end of it. I should have kept my mouth shut. 

I thought since I paid $7,000 to publish this paper in an open-access journal it would be ok to post about my findings on the internet. I was proud of my work. I am proud of my work, but I want to live. I noticed the black van a few days after I posted my paper on ResearchGate. They got me outside the lab, as I was headed home. 

People, who I can only assume are the editorial board, dropped me off in the woods and told me they’d give me a 10 minute head start. Now here I am, sprinting through the trees with bullets whizzing by my head. Opening -80 freezers and moving boxes of tubes around is really bad conditioning for running for your life. 

If you’re reading this you’re in danger. You know now, and they’ll be coming for you. I’m sorry.