They don’t always own up to it, but many parents play favorites, treating their more favored children differently than their less favored. According to recent research in the Psychology Bulletin, certain children tend to be the favorites, as parents may be more inclined to treat their daughters, as well as their agreeable and conscientious children, better.
“Differential treatment from parents can have lasting consequences for children,” said Alexander Jensen, a study author and an associate professor at Brigham Young University, in a press release. “This study helps us understand which children are more likely to be on the receiving end of favoritism.”
Read More: The Secret Reason Why Parents Play Favorites
The Consequences of Choosing Favorites
Psychologists have revealed, through decades of research, that differential treatment can cause damage to children. Studies show that those who receive favored treatment from their parents tend to have better mental health and healthier relationships, for instance, while non-favored children tend to have unhealthier minds and relationships, along with reduced academic success and self-regulation skills.
But which children tend to be more favored, and which children tend to be less favored?
To determine what makes a favorite, a team of researchers scrutinized 30 separate studies and dissertations, as well as 14 databases, to see which characteristics in children were associated with better treatment from parents. Looking to traits like gender, birth order, temperament, and personality (including attributes like extraversion, agreeableness, openness, conscientiousness, and neuroticism), they found that parents tend to treat their daughters better, as well as their agreeable and conscientious children.
“Understanding these nuances can help parents and clinicians recognize potentially damaging family patterns,” Jensen said in the release. “It is crucial to ensure all children feel loved and supported.”
Read More: How Similar are Siblings? What Makes Us Different?
Correcting Favoritism
According to the team, parental favoritism can alter parents’ interactions with their children, as well as their spending and allowance for autonomy. Covering more than 19,000 participants in total, the team’s meta-analysis considered differences in overall treatment, as well as differences in positive and negative interactions, resource allocation, and control.
Concerning gender, parents are more likely to favor daughters, the analysis concluded, and concerning personality, they are more likely to favor children who are agreeable and conscientious. The team says it is possible that parents may see the latter children as more manageable, treating them more favorably as a result of their trustworthiness and responsibility.
While birth order and temperament are not as important to parental favoritism, the analysis indicates that the oldest child is treated better when favoritism is considered only in terms of parental control. Parents tend to loosen their constraints on their oldest children, the team says, possibly on account of their perceptions of maturity.
Indicating the complexity of the issue, the researchers also found that other factors, such as the age of children and the gender of parents, may also play a minimal role in impacting favoritism.
“It is important to note that this research is correlational, so it doesn’t tell us why parents favor certain children,” Jensen said in the release. “However, it does highlight potential areas where parents may need to be more mindful of their interactions with their children.”
Hoping that the results help parents to treat their children fairly, the researchers say their analysis can increase parental awareness of their own favoritism.
“The next time you’re left wondering whether your sibling is the golden child, remember there is likely more going on behind the scenes than just a preference for the eldest or youngest. It might be about responsibility, temperament, or just how easy or hard you are to deal with,” he said in the release.
Read More: Turns Out, You Can’t Blame Your Personality on Birth Order — Unless You’re a Twin
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Sam Walters is a journalist covering archaeology, paleontology, ecology, and evolution for Discover, along with an assortment of other topics. Before joining the Discover team as an assistant editor in 2022, Sam studied journalism at Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois.
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