Let’s face it: modern life can feel like a whirlwind of chaos mixed with mayhem, especially for women juggling careers, families, friendships, and wellness goals. Your stressed-out self may even have resolved in the new year to focus on finding better ways to manage your stress and anxiety. And you might have even been Googling “how to calm down” right before you landed on this page–hi 👋🏼 we see you.

This isn’t the first time you pledged to learn how to calm down. But try as you might to reduce stress, it always seems to sneak up at the most inopportune times and places — the stiff neck and tense shoulders, the clenched jaw, racing thoughts, heart pulsing, and that annoying tendency to snap at your partner out of nowhere for loading the dishwasher “wrong.” Ugh, we’ve all been there.

The good news? Even though it may seem that you’re a long way from calm, getting your nervous system back to calm doesn’t require a complete life overhaul or a two-week vacation in the Bahamas (even though that would be nice!).

Your nervous system holds the key to regulating stress, calming your body, and unlocking a sense of safety in your daily life. Whether you’re looking for stress management tips, to learn how to get calm, natural ways to alleviate stress and reduce anxiety, or simple techniques to feel more centered, this guide has you covered.

So if you’ve been searching for self-care routines or tools to overcome the fight-or-flight response, keep reading. These approachable, science-backed techniques will help you get calm, regulate your nervous system, and start the New Year feeling grounded, reenergized, and ready to take on life.

Understanding Stress and Anxiety

What is the body’s stress response?

Ever feel like your heart is racing, your muscles are tense, and your mind is in overdrive? That’s your body’s stress response kicking in. Known as the “fight or flight” response, this natural reaction is your body’s way of preparing to face a perceived threat. When stress hits, hormones like adrenaline and cortisol flood your system, gearing you up to either confront the situation or run away from it.

In the short term, this response can be incredibly useful. It sharpens your focus, quickens your reflexes, and gives you a burst of energy. But when stress becomes a constant companion, this once-helpful response can turn into a source of chronic stress, wreaking havoc on your physical and mental health. Chronic stress can lead to issues like high blood pressure, anxiety, and even depression.

Understanding this response is a game-changer for stress management. Because it isn’t the stress that gets us in the end. It’s the fact that we don’t ever get a real break from it that erodes our resilience and breaks us down physically and mentally.

By recognizing the signs—like a pounding heart, rapid breathing, or tense muscles—you can take proactive steps to calm your body and mind to get that much-needed break from the stress response. This awareness is the first step towards reducing the negative effects of chronic stress and improving your overall mental health.

Once you’ve identified the signs, incorporating these quick relaxation tips into your daily routine can make a significant difference in your mental health and emotional wellbeing.

1. Assess and Address Lifestyle Inflammation

Think of your life like a houseplant—if the roots aren’t healthy, no amount of misting or sunlight will help it thrive. Lifestyle inflammation is anything in your daily life that keeps you stressed, stuck, or unhappy. Examples include:

• An overpacked calendar: Are you scheduling back-to-back meetings or errands with zero breathing room?
• Toxic relationships: Are you surrounded by people who drain your energy or make you second-guess your worth?
• Nutritional chaos: Are you fueling your body with wholesome meals, or are convenience snacks ruling the day?

Take 10 minutes to audit one area of your life. For example, set boundaries around your calendar by keeping one evening a week free for rest or for a fun activity to look forward to. Or, swap out a sugary, low-nutrient cereal for a quick smoothie packed with spinach, almond milk, and protein powder. These small shifts can create a ripple effect that makes nervous system regulation easier to maintain.

2. Breathe Your Way to Calm

When stress levels skyrocket, taking a deep breath is your best friend. Intentional deep breathing can send a powerful “all-clear” signal to your nervous system, reducing feelings of panic or overwhelm. Deep breathing techniques, such as the one described, can quickly calm the mind and body during stressful situations. Try this simple technique:

1. Inhale for 4 seconds through your nose.
2. Exhale for 8 seconds through your mouth.
3. Repeat for 1 minute.

Why it works: Stress often tricks your body into thinking danger is lurking around the corner (like you’re being chased by a tiger—even if it’s just an email from your boss). This breathing technique lowers your heart rate, relaxes your muscles, and re-establishes a sense of safety. Bonus tip? Use this during morning traffic, before a big presentation, or whenever anxiety strikes.

3. Shake Off Stuck Energy

Feeling like a tightly wound spring? Get your body moving—literally. Somatic (body-based) exercises like shaking can release pent-up tension and help reset your nervous system.

Here’s how: Stand up, bend your knees slightly, and shake every part of your body as if you were a wet dog doing that adorable post-bath shake. Focus on areas that feel tight, like your shoulders or hips. Try this for 30 seconds, then pause and notice how your body feels.

It may sound silly, but shaking is a powerful way to move stagnant energy and transition from a stressed state to a relaxed one. Pro tip: Blast your favorite song for an instant mood boost while you shake!

4. Try a Sensory Reset with Orienting

When overwhelm hits, orienting can help you reconnect with the present moment. This grounding technique uses your senses to gently bring you back to the here and now. Try it anywhere:

• See: Name 5 things you can see (like a lamp, a book, or your coffee mug).
• Hear: Identify 4 sounds (birds chirping, traffic noise, your own breathing).
• Touch: Feel 3 textures around you (soft sweater, smooth desk, warm tea cup).
• Smell: Take note of 2 scents (your perfume, fresh laundry).
• Taste: Tune into 1 flavor (a sip of water or lingering minty gum).

This simple practice is especially helpful if you’re in a high-stress environment, like a crowded grocery store or a tense family gathering. It can be particularly beneficial during stressful moments, helping you manage feelings of being overwhelmed or anxious.

Final Thoughts on Finding Your Chill

You don’t need a week-long yoga retreat or a complete life makeover to reduce stress (though a spa day wouldn’t hurt!). By addressing lifestyle triggers, practicing intentional breathing, moving your body, and reconnecting with your senses, you can train your nervous system to stay calm no matter what life throws your way.

So, next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a few deep breaths, focus on your senses for a minute, stand up and move, or do a brief life audit. Your mind and body will thank you.

This New Year, focus on progress, not perfection. Small changes add up to big transformations.

Which technique will you try first? Let us know in the comments! – Alex